Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the

Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the
Beverly Hillbillies:

Here's a little story of a man named John A poor ex-marine with
a little fraction gone It seems one night after gettin' with
the wife She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife
Pecker that is, Rodeoed, fillet food

Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side And
Lorena's in the car taking willie for a ride She soon got tired
of her purple headed friend And tossed him out the window as
she rounded the bend Curve, that is Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack And they
called out the hounds just to get his weenie back They sniffed
and they barked, then they pointed "over there" To John Wayne's
henry that was wavin' in the air Found, that is By a fence,
evidence

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long So a d***-doc
said "Hey, I can fix your d**g!" A needle and a thread's just
the thing you're gonna need Then the world held it's breath
till they heard that John peed Whizzed, that is Stitched seam,
straight stream

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short) They
cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape And his pecker
was the only one they didn't show on tape

Video, that is, Unexposed, case closed

Tags: jokes, humor

After the Funeral

An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years
when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to
the funeral.

Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the
grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there. About two
months later a priest saw the old man out there with his dog
and decided to go talk to the old man.

"Hello there. You know, we see you come out here every day to
visit your wife's grave and we just think that's so sweet. We
were all wondering if the dog was something that was special to
your wife since you always bring it out here with you."

"No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave. I'd
do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"

Words of Wisdom...
"The biggest cause of trouble in the world today is that the
stupid people are so sure about things and the intelligent
folks are so full of doubts."
-- Bertrand Russell

Tags: joke, marriage, grave, dog, woman, man

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