Life's Quips...
Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its
students.
#status
50cent
Friday, September 18, 2009
Bus load of politicians
Bus load of politicians
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer told him he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."
#Humor
From: http://ping.fm/KGNcz
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer told him he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."
#Humor
From: http://ping.fm/KGNcz
Funeral arrangements
Funeral arrangements
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'."
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.
"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably."
"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for anice funeral 'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."
"And the third envelope?" asked her friends.
"The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, 'Please use this to buy a nice stone.'"
Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said...
"So, do you like my stone?" showing off her 10 carat diamond ring.
#Humor
From: http://ping.fm/zPSfC
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'."
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.
"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably."
"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for anice funeral 'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."
"And the third envelope?" asked her friends.
"The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, 'Please use this to buy a nice stone.'"
Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said...
"So, do you like my stone?" showing off her 10 carat diamond ring.
#Humor
From: http://ping.fm/zPSfC
The lumberjack
The lumberjack
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram.
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack.
"Take your axe and go cut it down!"
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back...
"Oh sure, that's what they call it now!
#jokes, Humor,
From: http://ping.fm/00MZg
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram.
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack.
"Take your axe and go cut it down!"
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back...
"Oh sure, that's what they call it now!
#jokes, Humor,
From: http://ping.fm/00MZg
One-Liners...
One-Liners...
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you
can't wipe your friends on the couch.
#jokes, one-Liners
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you
can't wipe your friends on the couch.
#jokes, one-Liners
Monday, September 14, 2009
YouTube - 50 Cent Offers Kanye a Knuckle Sandwich
Just a big fan, and my boy at it again
From: http://ping.fm/zAON6
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Funny Speeding Joke
Funny Speeding Joke
Posted on July 4, 2009 by quotes
Speeding?
A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an
hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following
her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.
When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles
following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she
looked around, there were three cops following her.
Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She
screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies’ room. Ten
minutes later, she innocently walked out.
The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Then,
without batting an eye, she said coyly, “I’ll bet none of
you thought I would make it.
From: http://ping.fm/L4PjP
Posted on July 4, 2009 by quotes
Speeding?
A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an
hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following
her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.
When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles
following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she
looked around, there were three cops following her.
Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She
screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies’ room. Ten
minutes later, she innocently walked out.
The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Then,
without batting an eye, she said coyly, “I’ll bet none of
you thought I would make it.
From: http://ping.fm/L4PjP
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
THISIS50.COM TOUR
